clipped from bunnyboysmonkey.blogspot.com Close your eyes and imagine this. Charcoal, ground to a fine powder. Vicks Vapor Rub, in all itâ™s eye watering, nasal clearing goodness. Now imagine these two things together, in your mouth! Sure, at first imagining, Charcoal plus Vicks Vapor Rub may not sound too appetizing; and I will admit that it is an acquired taste. Once you have acquired the taste though, and the ability to stomach the gritty, dry, gagging texture, you have a toothpaste that gets your mouth clean like no other. It is a bit like sandblasting the gunk off your teeth. They are really squeaky clean after the rinse. And believe it or not, it is both a whitening toothpaste and an Ayurvedic Medicine! Oh Monkey Brand has itss down side, the spatter of black dried spit that coats the sink and walls, the aforementioned texture and the container that is strangely hard to open. Don't let that deter you though, sweep those negatives aside. Join the Monkey Crew and get your teeth clean in a way you never imagined before.

Previously in O,DIKTO?:

-Three words: "Monkey-Poo Dodgeball"

-FUCK NOT WITH THE MONKEYS!

-I'll take mine neat, squeeze of lime

-Birfday Monkey!

Once again, your Bartender-of-Fortune spent Halloween aboard the old gray lady USS Hornet for the annual Halloween party. (Make with the clickety-cllick on the photos for larger sizes)

It must be going on something like seven years running, but once again I went as Bill Hicks. Simplest costume ever. Although disappointingly more obscue every year. If you haven't already watched It's Just a Ride, do yourself a favor and meet Bill.


When Hugo saw my points, he broke out his bunny ears. Nice. Plus, Hugo and I both demonstrated that a steel cocktail shaker and a bottle-opener make an excellent substitute-cowbell. Luckily, the bar was hella slow during Honkey-Tonk Women. ;-)


The view from the bar is a great one for costume viewing. There were a couple of Davey Joneses (though none with a tambourine), lots of pirates, and a really cool overall variety to the crowd.

One of my favorites was the couple I dubbed "The Whitechapel Duo". Love classic references.


Best costume of the night? Hands down favorite was The Zombie.


And lastly, big shout-out to The Cocktail Monkeys for putting on a great rock show and keeping the dancefloor jumpin'.

Cheers!


Previously in O,DIKTO?
-B-o-F: Working the Museum Circuit

-Goatboy's Halloween '08

... but I can't find a store in the Bay Area that has the unlined Eisenhower Ben Davis jacket in black/M.

One place has the Dickies version of the jacket, but I'm kinda partial to the big monkey. The pants and vest I have are solid and well made and fit my frame pretty well.

Plus, my vest has a monkey on the buttons. OTOH, the Dickie's jacket has a pen slot on the left shoulder, which I like. Hmm...

Drax N1 by *Lelia on deviantART

Previously in O,DIKTO?:

-FUCK NOT WITH THE MONKEYS!

-Sci-fi geeks: we know the future

-"Loud cannons, loud shirts, and a ring in your ear..."

-Buccaneer (with apologies to Nickelback)

Angry monkeys turn on their cruel trainer and beat him senseless with his own stick after he handed out a vicious beating to one of the trio during a performance riding mini bicycles in a market in Sizhou, China



Everyone thought the monkey-waiters were so cute.

But I re-iterate: we've seen where this ends up.



Previously in O.DIKTO?:

-The Deputy Mayor of Dheli India was killed by a troop of monkeys

-Never underestimate a monkey with a weapon

-Hot Giant-Monkey on Giant-Lizard action

-Get a bigger monkey!

judgejudymortis hipped me to this bit of video from Japan.



And that sent shivers down my spine. Because it starts with fetching sake and warm towels for edamame tips... and ends with revolution!

MONKEY CHASER!

Now THIS is a winery i gotta check out! 510, baby!


Previously in O,DIKTO?:

-Pirate w/ monkey [customized action figure]

-Revolutionary monkeys need coffee too

-I'm in ur tree, shelvin' ur fud!

-Wuxia monkey go SQUEEEE!

-Gotta get me some!

-Sing for the Monkey King!

-Birfday Monkey

-BEST! MONKEY! MOVIE! EVAR!

Last night, Lexi straddled my back to give the monkeyspine ye olde poppe.

And then she lay down on a monkey's back, and snuggled up. Nice. Warm.

And then the urge took me. Move.

Coming up to my hands and knees, Lexi grabbed on like a baby monkey on a bigger one's back.

And suddenly, we were moving as one.

Crawling, twisting, leaning, two separate bodies, clinging and moving and shifting as one.

Then I came up to my feet, with her still strapped to my back by her arms and legs.

And we moved. Walking, striding, twisting, leaning, "downward dog", lunges, back to all fours, up to the feet again.

I felt my love shift her weight, grasp tighter with the arms, then the legs, moving along with me.

Strength, flexibility, coordination, movement. No music, just movement.

By the King's shiny black leathers, that felt GOOD!


Previously in O,DIKTO?:

-The Human Body in Motion, and the Joy Therein

-Workout Diary: Monkeying Around Some More

-Workout Diary: "Etre fort pour être utile"

If I were an 11.5" tall articulated action figure...

Found in the Monkey Punch photo pool


Previously in O,DIKTO?:

-Arrrrr! Mark Day be me new favorite Scottish-American Comedian!

-Buccaneer (with apologies to Nickelback)

-Save a Sea-Horse (Ride a Pirate!) (with apologies to Big & Rich)

-Cool Stuff On Our Shelves

-Ph-nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu Lego R'lyeh wgah'ngal fhtagn!*

Tip Top Bike Shop window.

For you non-locals, Hella is Bay Area for very much. Hecka is hella for the church-going/jr. high sets.

Srsly.

1620 shattuck, Berzerkeley, CA

TJ's on Lakeshore, Oaktown

Okay, the "New RKC Minimum Program" lists a variety day to do stuff other than endless, hard-making swings & get-ups. Because with the extensive variety of options you have with the kettlebell... "Ooh, and I can throw in 5 of these, and a few of those!" My workout was like that for quite a while, all over the place.

So, being that' it's a bright, hot (if not quite sunny) day out, I went to the park for some bodyweight work with nothing but the shoes on my feet and the clothes on my back. Oh, and cell phone and keys. And a .5L platypus bottle with water. But beyond all that stuff, nada. And the shoes came off once I hit the grass. Pure bodyweight exercise, baby.

Or as I like to call it, monkeying around. Because that's what I'm going for. Not just strong, lean, and hard from keeping the cannonball in motion, but agile. Something relatively alien to my experience, given my size and history. And because this looks like the fricken coolest exercise class going:



Yeah, I wanna do that!

Okay, the workout:
-50 burpees, 5 sets of 10 with active recovery in between (this is where I did my limbering, back bends, cossacks, etc). Stand ankles beneath the shoulders, hips, and knees, solid posture. Squat down and place both palms of the hands on the grass, close to the feet as is comfortable. Kick the legs out behind and lock out in "plank pose". Keeping the hands palm down, leap the legs forward back to the squat, and stand up. Repeat x 10/set.

Dudes, I cannot emphasize how much I recommend everyone practice their 3rd world squat against the wall every day. The degree of desk/chair-bound sedentary tightness I'm feeling dissipate is amazing. You wanna know how prison inmates exercise when the spend so much of the day locked in their cages? Burpees are a big part of it.

-4 monkeyruns* (hand and feet) up the hill (around 50 paces), walk back down to my bag. My first attempt at going downhill on all fours = PHYSICAL CONDITIONING FAIL! Did I mention Pirate liking to get ahead of himself in his workouts before? ;-) But I want to do more of this type of stuff. 4-limbed scampering seems to be very useful in parkour. Gettin' down with my bad monkey-self. ;-)

-One set of Air Writing.

Oh, how the sun on my skin and the grass beneath my feet felt SO GOOD!

The I came home from the park and put some laundry in.

-Full 1-hour Callanetics workout. Didn't do the 4th of 4 ab sets. But otherwise, went through it all. Powerful mojo Callan teaches.

Also, came across this set of DVDs. Sounds like VERY MUCH my kinda thing. Why yes, I do want to learn to walk on my hands. How ever did you know?

So my first dedicated bodyweight day seems a success. Glad to be back to my Callanetics, wanna get Pavel's The Naked Warrior to really zero in on my bodyweight work.

Previously in O, DIKTO:
-The monkey's workout diary

-Traceur chicks are HAWT!

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* Dunno if it has a real name, but that's what i called it today.

Not "slingshot".

"Slungshot" As in "a ball (or "shot") of iron slung on the end of a rope."

Or in this case, knotted inside a monkey's fist.

They even teach seminars on it:

This class is an expansion of the highly successful session that was held as part of the Boarding Actions class at ISMAC '07. We will explore a speculative reconstruction of 19th century maritime close-combat with the slungshot or "monkey's fist", described as a "pocket-sized version of the the Medieval morning star flail".

This system posits how the slungshot would be used to augment the rough-and-tumble "gouge fighting" and bare-knuckle boxing of Barbary Coast street-fighters and press-gangs during the wild days of the 1800s.

Requires: fencing mask

More on the history of saps, blackjacks, and slungshot.

Hey, cities and insides of buildings get cramped and crowded. Mebbe maritime boarding techniques are not the most useless fighting skill to have, given the terrain.

This is also why Pirate sees hisself leaning towards the 25" blade cutlass over the cavalry saber with the 33" blade: cramped urban environments.

Previously in O,DIKTO:
-Dood, one word: Backup!
-Buccaneer (with apologies to Nickelback)
-Save a Sea-Horse (Ride a Pirate!)
-Arrrrr! Mark Day be me new favorite Scottish-American Comedian

Jackie Chan.
Jet Li.
The Staff of the Monkey King*

The Forbidden Kingdom



I!
WILL!
BE!
IN!
MY!
BUNK!

Big props on out to Cyrus at Spill.com for hipping a monkey to this win-filled bucket of awesomeness.

---

* The stick, not the personnel. They're all busy trying to write Hamlet

Do you know how to survive an attack by Indian monkeys?

See also, "What should you do when confronted with a gun-wielding madman?"

Some images just say it all. HMEC and Bawls are the only two drinks of this type I can stomach.

I tell you, this monkey has howled through his share of late nights behind the bar. Not too many, but sometimes there's no coffee and a million thirsty customers.

Gotta do what ya gotta do.

Not only is there a history of monkey-vs-dog bloodsports, the story behind the Wikipedia article is a trippy one as well.

Cruel and inhumane and uncivilized. Man's best friend vs man's close evolutionary cousin in gladiatorial combat for entertainment is just wrong.

Now monkey-vs-monkey with swords over a point of honor, THAT'S cool.