Cheggidout, Exploratorium After Dark is back:

Experience life After Dark, an evening series exclusively for adults that mixes cocktails, conversation, and playful, innovative science and art events. Not a theater, cabaret, or gallery, After Dark contains aspects of all three. Each evening showcases a different topic—from music to sex to electricity—but all include a cash bar and film screenings, plus an opportunity to play with our hundreds of hands-on exhibits. Join us and mingle with inventive scientists, artists, musicians, programmers, and designers. Enjoy live performances, provocative films, interesting music, cutting-edge technology, unexpected extravaganzas, and more, depending on each evening's lineup. Leave the kids at home and meet friends or take a date. Where else can you find an intellectually stimulating playground for adults—with free parking?

This event is included in the price of museum admission.

$14 regular admission
Free for members
Cash bar

First Thursday of every month, 21+ from 6-10pm, cash bar with yours truly pouring the libations. Most likely I'll be back at my station under Marilyn Einstein, over by the laser-floor a.k.a. "Personal Space" (hint: more people on the floor is better. Drop your jacket on it as well.)

Tonight, Oct.1, Hardly Strictly Science:

Keeping time with the Hardly Strictly Bluegrass festival (held in Golden Gate Park on October 2, 3, & 4), Hardly Strictly Science invites you to get in tune with listening, music, and the physics of sound.

Hardly Strictly Science
An Evening Tuned to Listening, Music,
and the Physics of Sound

October 1, 2009
Bars open at 6:00 p.m.
Programs begin at 6:00 p.m.
Museum open from 10:00 a.m. to 10:00 p.m.

Keeping time with the Hardly Strictly Bluegrass festival (held in Golden Gate Park on October 2, 3, & 4), Hardly Strictly Science invites you to get in tune with listening, music, and the physics of sound.

Special Thanks: The Exploratorium wishes to thank Dawn Holliday for her advice and Hardly Strictly Bluegrass for its encouragement of this program.

A Musical Conversation with Kieran Kane and Thomas Humphrey
8:00 p.m. in the Skylight area

Making and Repairing Instruments with Renowned Luthier Frank Ford
6:00–9:30 p.m. in the Skylight area

Waiting for a Train: the Toshio Hirano Story
By local filmmaker Oscar Bucher
7:00 p.m. in the McBean Theater
With a live performance from Toshio Hirano!

Making Sense of Sound: Floorwalks with Exploratorium Staff
6:15, 7:00, & 9:30 p.m.
Limited capacity; please sign up outside the Exploratorium Store.

Come by and say hi, let the libationator work his mixological alchemy on you. Tell your friends to come by & say "hi".

Previously, in O,DIKTO?

Bartender of Fortune: Working the Museum Circuit

Yours truly a little bit before the doors opened at last saturday night's Magnitude dance party (part of Folsom Street Fair weekend). I was down on the main dance floor.

I've attended plenty of BDSM/leather events, but being a het male, they've all been rather pansexual in their attendance. This was my first time at a specifically gay male one. An interesting energy to observe while pouring beverages.

Note: gay men into leather tip really well. Although I think at least one Australian party-goer tipped me with a ten accidentally.

There were actually quite a few foreign men. You could tell, because they were the ones in the dim light staring closely at their money, trying to figure out how much each of the unfamiliar, uniformly green bills worth.

Unfortunately, I was so wiped out from working all night and not getting home until just short of dawn that i totally didn't make it out to Folsom Street in the gorgeous sun.

Previously in O,DIKTO?:

-BoF: Working the Museum Circuit

-BoF: Goatboy's Halloween

-BoF: Abusing Colleagues @ Work

-15 Seconds with Pirate: New Years Eve on the Trolley

-BoF: DAMN, that was a long 3 days. [EDITED]

-BoF: I'm beat

-BoF: It was right before my eyes and I didn't even see it

-BoF: The Monkey's Bells Got Seriously Rocked!

-BoF: Dancing The Night Away

Saturday night, Annie's Social Club. Tickets are $15, doors at 8pm, and Pirate will be getting his Karaoke on in the back room until the Maidens go on. 21+.

bff2112, I"m looking your way brother!
"



Previously in OP,DIKTO?:

-KARAOKE-GASM!

-How I alienated girls and gained tinnitus in the 80s

-South Park + Spinäl Täp =

I had a strange experience this weekend. lexica510's folks invited us to go to the SF Asian Art Museum to see the Lords of the Samurai exhibit. Several of my friends have already gone, and had a great time. I was looking forward to this, not in the least bit because that's not an inexpensive museum to get into, so going as a member's guest was the only way I was going in the front door (been through the servant's entrance loading dock more than a few times), to say nothing of getting into the special exhibits.

Yeah, yeah, first Sunday is free, but grinding through space, cramped up against the sweaty human tide is great when there's a pounding dance beat, sub-optimal for museum viewing.

High level summary was that I was almost completely unmoved by the experience. This surprised me to no end.

I thought the fact that the exhibit was made up not only of national treasures from the Samurai era, but that almost all of it came from one (still existing) family's collection, would be extra cool points. The old family castle has been turned into a museum.

Nothing.

The artifacts in the in the temperature-controlled glass cases were exactly like every book/website/historical source I'd ever read on the Samurai said they would be. They looks just like the detailed drawings and descriptions.

Yeah, great. Reality confirms that the authors weren't lying or insane. But that's all I felt. Some of these things are so fragile and old that they can only be on display for part of the stay at the AAM, before being rotated out for other items. Did we really need to truck them all the way to SF just so that people could look at them up close?

Miyamoto Musashi, possibly the best known samurai in all of Japanese history was, late in life, a retainer of the Hosokawa family. That fact was fascinating to me. There was a pair of wooden bokken, possibly carved by the hand of Musashi himself on display.

All I could think was I can get a polypropylene bokken from Cold Steel that doesn't need to be stored in a temperature controlled glass box, and which I can train with and not worry about destroying cultural heritage in the process.

Musashi (or whoever) didn't carve those wooden sword to be a work of art, they were tools to teach swordsmanship. Physically, they were indistinguishable from the $20 bokken in the gift store, lack of nicks and dings from use included. This was not the pair of bokken Musashi supposedly defeated sword-armed enemies with.

But the ones on display had a story behind them. I wanted to reach out and swing them and smack them against someone else's wooden sword because that's what they were meant to do.

There was copy of Musashi's Book for Five Rings scrolls, supposedly copied down by Musashi's student (the originals are lost). I have a paperback copy that won't piss millions of ¥en down the drain if I throw it in my backpack and spill coffee on it. It's also conveniently translated into English, a language I can read.

Musashi's teachings are alive (to me) in the paperback. I don't read Japanese, and can't carry an ancient scroll on BART. I felt nothing looking at it.

There was a teacup made by the hand of master *SOMETHING*-san. Probably hadn't had warm tea in it for hundreds of years.

I've grown up watching Samurai movies most of my life. I saw Seven Samurai and Yojimbo long before I saw The Magnificent Seven or For A Few Dollars More. Lone Wolf & Cub is a freakin' masterpiece (as well as meticulously researched). But seeing the actual artifacts...

They were just things. Old, well-made, well-preserved things.

I thought they would move me. They didn't, though the ideas behind them still do. At least nobody paid extra for me to discover that.

Tradition is not the worship of ashes, but the maintainance of fire
-Gustave Mahler

Previously in O,DIKTO?:

-Bartender-of-Fortune: Working the Museum Circuit

-Sci-fi geeks: we know the future

-Tokyo-Dance Trooper

-Most. Fucked-up. Candy. EVAR!

Taken by Lake Merritt.

Lexica checks out the Licorice selections at Miette in SF. Mmmm... salty licorice herrings!

The Trappist is an AWESOME bar in Oaktown that specializes in Belgian & other imported beers. 15 on tap, ~150 in bottles. That's a Saxo Blond mah hottie is enjoying.

DAYUM, mah woman is HAWT!

( Make with the clickety-click for a bunch more peekchoors... )

Once again, your bartender-of-fortune will be shaking cocktails at The Exploratorium for the 3rd of the April After Dark events. This week, Sideshow Science:

Step right up! For one night only, the Exploratorium transforms into a carnival of amazing animal acts, astounding forces of nature, mysterious mind reading, and thrilling games of skill and chance. Within these walls lurk some of the most astonishing phenomena found in nature—the biggest "freak show" of them all. Witness the whimsical and weird! Behold unbelievable technologies and test scientific ideas that defy common sense! Can cosmic rays from the edge of time really pass through the museum? Do animals have more complicated cognition than we ever imagined? Discover some of nature's strangest curiosities at Sideshow Science.

So come on by and let me shake you an adult libation while you catch some cool science entertainment. I'll be bringing the fancy cocktail bitters. Under 21 is okay, the card @ the door and wristband the 21+. The museum doesn't close until 9:30, bar opens at 7:00.

Mebbe I see you there.

Previously in O,DIKTO?:

-BoF: Working the Museum Circuit

-Wanna see the Buccaneer-American in Action?

Seems I'm been getting a few museum gigs recently. I've done several stints at The Academy of Science's Nightlife on Thursday nights, and it continues to be a lot of fun.

One of the really cool parts is that Claude the albino crocacaymagator is back in his enclosure, albeit without his roomie Bonnie. It seems Claude is around 80% blind. His muzzle is all raw and red from swimming into things he can't see. He's also missing a thumb from swimming into Bonnie. Apparently she interpreted this as an attack. Which is why Claude is living in a single for now.
But I usually get to set up at the "swamp bar", right next to Claude, so I've developed a soft side for him. Still I realize that the only reason he's alive is because he's in a glass box. No way he'd survive in the wild.

Two Saturdays ago I worked a private event at the Academy, and got to hear what has become one of my favorite local 80's party bands, Notorious! I've caught them playing at a few gigs around 'Frisco, and they totally rock.

When you work the catering circuit, you hear plenty of cover bands. Everyone has returned to black, everyone has Jenny's number off the wall, everyone wishes they had Jessie's girl, everyone wants you to hit them with your best shot.

And No one will EVER stop believing. Not in The Bay Area, they won't.

I'm not complaining, this is my job and it involves dancing and flirting for tips. These are not bad things. I'm just saying that if I'm going to hear the SAME FRICKIN' SONGS OVER AND OVER, I'd prefer to have a band that rocks out and looks like they're enjoying themselves up on stage. And I get a chuckle every time the guitarist does his best turntables impression using a guitar-pick-&-strings.

SO a big shout-out to these cats, playing the soundtrack of my youth. Srsly, if you need an 80s party band for you upcoming event, these cats bring it.

Last Thursday I was at The Exploratorium for the first of the After Dark events. That was a little trippy as the museum didn't close while we set up, they just segued to the cash-bar-&-live-music part on the fly. Not a problem, it just meant that we had to keep an even closer eye on our product people were still wandering around while we were were doing linens etc.

The music was provided by DBR on violin & DJ Scientific performing etudes4violin&electronix. VERY cool stuff. And during one of the early, slower pieces, there was a couple dancing Tango.

The floorspace they were on was an interesting exhibit. It was a white square with several cameras on the ceiling. When more than one shadow is cast on the floor, light emitters project lines on the floor. The more shadows, the more divisions, and they changed dynamically as you moved across.

So the Tangoers dropped a jacket and a bag and stuff and dry-humped danced in front of my bar*. DAYUM, Lexi & I needs to learn us some Tango!


So your Buccaneer-American continues to go where they send him. It just seems like I'm getting send interesting places these days. And while The AoS do have an albino crocacaymagator...

They don't have a stand-inside kaleidoscope like "Tha 'Sploratorium" does.


Cheers!

---

* Hey don't get me wrong, it's not like the dancers were doing anything extraordinarily smutty. I just think of the Tango as an inherently smutty dance. And beautifully so.

Previously in O,DIKTO?:

-BoF: Goatboy's Halloween

-BoF: Abusing Colleagues @ Work

-15 Seconds with Pirate: New Years Eve on the Trolley

-BoF: DAMN, that was a long 3 days. [EDITED]

-BoF: It was right before my eyes and I didn't even see it

-BoF: The Monkey's Bells Got Seriously Rocked!

-BoF: Dancing The Night Away

For those of you who were thinking about going to the California Academy of Sciences Nightlife Party this Thursday night, I will in fact be pouring.

Come by @ say hi. :D



P.S. I'm planning on bringing my fancy cocktail bitters, so you will get a beverage at my station that you will litteraly not be able to get at any other bar station.

I'm just sayin'...

Check out the Contra Costa Times:

Within the darkened, subterranean depths of the recently reopened California Academy of Sciences' Steinhart Aquarium in Golden Gate Park, a couple share a kiss in front of a bored-looking audience of rockfish. Cocktails in hand, they glow under the illuminated water.

It's Thursday night and no one is paying attention to the modestly amorous couple enjoying the center's 21-and-over "NightLife" program launched last month.

And which bartender did they feature?



Too bad I'll be at a different gig tonight. DOH!

Note: Not quite the "Legal name", but I did give the photographer "Pirate" for my picture credit.

Previously in O,DIKTO?:

-I Is a Intanashanul Intarwebz Kettlebell Celebrity

Lexi has the next couple of days off, so we're gonna take advantage of her ability to stay up late on a Monday night and make another trip on out to Annie's Social Club for another installment of their Monday night Punk Rock & Schlock Karaoke

We should get there around 9:30ish, the singin' usually starts around 10ish. Distinct possibility that we'll be going to The Old Chelsea for bellyful of some deep fried numminess before we go have a couple of beers.

Some mebbe you come out @ hang with Team LexiMonkey if you have nowhere urgent to be Tuesday morning. We'd love to see you. And vote for Annie's Social Club in the Best Karaoke in San Francisco category.

Team LexiMonkey believes in organic holidays. That's why we roll the entire end-of-year holiday season into one big ChannuKwanzSolstMas season. It's a like a big holiday trifle, made up of a variety of tasty components, with multiple sub-levels of holiday-specific observances. A recent addition to the Team's observances is the most awesometacular alpine holiday of Krampusnacht.

One sub-observance that has evolved organically for us is the tradition of Längstenacht, or "Longest Night".

A few years ago, back when the end-of-year season was an oppressive emotional weight and a massive draw on the family spoon-level, we found ourselves staying up all night after the day of the Winter Solstice. It being a weekend, neither of us had anything to do the next day. We're not even sure if it was something planned, or if it just happened.

But suddenly the next day was all, "Hey, let's bundle up and go into the city. Yeah, it's crappy and gray out, let's go. Ooh, let's get some fried Filipino junk food at Jollibee! Um, wait. Why the fuck are we out and about just doing stuff when days ago we were depressed as all get-out?"

Something about the Solstice. Whether it was some actual psycho-physiological interaction between our monkey-selves and the planet's procession around the Sun, or something about the link between sleep deprivation for depression relief, or just some sub-conscious reaction to the idea of the Solstice, ever since then we've made it a practice to stay up all night the night after the Solstice — the longest night of the year. At that point, the days are no longer getting shorter. The Sun is reborn and starts its march towards summer and the season of life again.

So Längstenacht has become our family way of both fighting off winter depression and getting back in touch with the seasonality of life.

This year, lexica510 got her research-fu on and googled up a bunch of stuff we could possibly do over our Längstenacht observance. And one thing that she came up with was dawn at the Wave Organ. Fucking BRILLIANT idea.

And living the car-free lifestyle like we are, mah woman got tight buns and shapely legs in flats & fuck those pain-causing high-heels we decided to spend this Längstenacht out walking all night, ending with dawn at the Wave Organ.

We were out for just under 12 hours (awake for longer than that), and front-door to front-door we covered just over seventeen and a half miles. Yeah, Lexi mapped it out, at least the 'Frisco part. Not the Oakland part — you don't need a map to our front door. ;-)

Quite a trek it was, and we took a few peekchoors. You might want to grab a glass of tea or something before you make with the clickety-click...
( Read more... )

Previously in O,DIKTO?:

-Krampus: Punishing wayward children for Santa since before Rome

-Whip of the Red Hunter (a dark Christmas fairy tale)

-Holidays were better back then: Valentines Day

-Talk Like a Pirate Day

Team Leximonkey plans, after spending the longest night of the year up and about, to be at the Wave Organ at approximately 07:00, Monday 12/22/08.

Sunrise is at 07:22. High tide is at 07:28.

Should be cool. If you're on vacation like Lexi, mebbe we see you there.

Afterwards, team LexiMonkey plans to do breakfast at Brenda's French Soul Food. Celebrate the end of the daylight getting shorter and shorter with beignets & chicory coffay. Mmmmm! [Lexi: "And the tomato-bacon relish that you can could eat with a spoon (if they gave you enough of it)..."]

Mebbe you give us a txt msg. Check the profile pages if you don't already have the numbers.

Mebbe you're up late night in 'Frisco & wanna meet for an early-early AM donut or something. We're mainly gonna be wandering the streets, just being awake all night, keeping the light burning.

Gonna be a cool sunrise.

For those of you who are going to be in the SF Bay Area for the holidays, Friday night 11/28 (the day after "Fuck-off, Puritans!" Day), Team LexiMonkey will be going to Annie's Social Club for another night of Punk Rock & Schlock Karaoke!

There's no band this Friday, so the Karaoke moves up from the back room to the main stage. NO COVER, no requirement that you actually get up on stage and sing (Lexi has no plans to). Come hang out, have a beer, listen, have fun.

East Bayers who won't be piloting individual gas-burning/environment-hating anti-socialmobiles, the 800 bus runs all night on the 1/2-hour, and 14th & Broad in Oaktown is a major bus hub from there. So even if BART ends shortly after Midnight, you can still get home.

We suggest picking up a donut at Java Xpress and getting on the bus further up Market. The closer you get to the bus terminal, the more crowded it'll be. If you've got a bike, get on at Civic Center.

Lexi had a blast the last time she came, & she'd love to see you there. And because Pirate always sings better when he's got friends drinking at the bar in attendance. ;-)

Monday night @ Annie's Social Club RAWKED, not least of all because Lexi did in fact accompany the monkey, and had a great time.

We got there a little behind schedule, but that was due partly to the sweet, sweet lovin' Lexi laid down on your Buccaneer-American. Strength, wisdom, longevity... one should have suspected aiding the singing voice was an added benefit. ;-)

Got in three songs:
-Slide by the Goo Goo Dolls. Because I tell Lexi all the time, "I wanna wake up where you are".

-And We Danced by The Hooters. Bringin' it back to the late 80s. I was a huge Hooters fan my freshman year in college.

Was going to do Simple Man by Shinedown (though probably more in Ronnie Van Zant's original range,) but the lyrics video was wonky all night, and I last-minute changed to a song whose lyrics I knew I was solid on without the prompter.

-Every Day I Write The Book by Elvis Costello & The Attractions. Because I love the line When you feel strange hands in your sweater... The last few lines get a bit repetitive, and when that happens I start to go off script, and I started rambling (in time with the music) about writers block and writing the same damn book over and over again, how maddening and defeating it is.

Note: there would have been video of this last performance, but I seem to have butt-dialed Lexi's phone in mid-lyric and screwed things up. ;-)

And sitting at the bar with an excellent view of the stage was my lovely Lexi, running a Red Stripe out to her monkey when he got called to the stage unprepared, as well as buckets of moral support & cheers for all the singers. We both had a great time, and only the fact that most weeks she has to go to work Tuesday morning would keep her from coming back.

Went by Java Xpress for a couple bunch-o-donuts to take home for breakfast the next morning (JX beats just about every donut shop close to Team LexiMonkey HQ on this side of the bay), and caught the 01:00 transbay bus right on time.

As far as when Lexi might be back, on 11/28 the day after Turkey Day, Punk Rock & Schlock Karaoke moves from it's normal Friday back room up to the main stage because there's no band.

I won't know for a while, but it's quite likely that I won't get booked for the Friday night. If I don't, chances are good Lexi will make a return trip to Annie's. We had a blast. You should come check it out.

[19:15 EDIT - Looking like Team LexiMonkey is GO FOR KARAOKE! Hope to see you there.]

Okay, no promises. But...

Lexi has both today AND tomorrow off. The stars (and more importantly, the vacation days) are in alignment, and the willingness is very much there.

So if all works out according to plan, lexica510 will be accompanying her monkey across the bay to Annie's Social Club for the traditional Monday night Punk Rock & Schlock Karaoke.

For once, Lexi has nowhere to be Tuesday morning, and she's been wanting to come hear the monkey sing for some time. Plans have changed in the past, but this one looks good.

So if you're in 'Frisco tonight and have nowhere you have to be functional and awake Tuesday morning, maybe you wanna swing by Annie's and come check out the song list? No cover & (if I remember correctly) Fernet Branca on special. $1/song for the KJ.

We'll probably shoot to get there between 9:45 and 10:00. Things usually get started around then. You don't gotta sing (Lexi will not be getting behind the mic), but come and have a bevvy and cheer on the exhibitionists. Play a game of pool or two. It's a way mellow regular crowd, not a few of whom are fellow service industry types (Monday being a dark night for lots of restaurants & such).

Because you KNOW you want candy!




Previously in O,DIKTO?:

-Karaoke-gasm!

-

Got called in last minute to bartend at the Inferno Paradiso Halloween party in 'Frisco. Great stuff. "Paradiso" was down in the basement. Your bartender-of-fortune was up on the 3rd floor "Inferno" level. Up there, the Lodge level has several theater back-drops, one of which is Hell & Devils. Awesome!

Once again, I went as Bill Hicks. Goatboy is here to please you...

Lots of great costumes and yes, Goatboy does like it when the ladies get all tarted up and sexah. Last week was the family-friendly party. This was for the grown-ups. :D

Great music from the Mark Growden Trio in corpse paint playing dirge-like waltzes, as well as Rosin Coven performing "The Halloweenie: The Phantom of the Hot Dog of the Opera".

Goatboy loves modern burlesque. Which is why he was quite bummed about the stage being low enough that he really couldn't get a great view of the Hubba-Hubba Revue. Poor, poor Goatboy. There was much dancin' hotness on stage that he missed.

I did get a chance to finally meet rivetpepsquad in person. Hey, babe. She & her fellow devil-themed hotties were amongst the shakin' hotness I had no visual angle on.

Pirate's coolest 80s moment: the dude in the Cobra Commander costume poppin' & lockin' to the DJ. Most repeated theme seen from this vantage point behind the bar this season? Pirates in general, with several Jack Sparrows of varying success. Strong second place, The Joker. Mostly the Heath Ledger version. And several smokin' hawt Harley Quinn's

While there was sexahness aplenty on display, Pirate TOTALLY fell for the bad faerie with the short brown hair, the sharp fangs, and the green corset "With a thing for a man with horns" who strolled up and asked for it dirty. "I like it dirty," she said. And Pirate, able to maintain his professionalism in the presence of such sexah, gave it to her dirty.* Some nights I absolutely love my job!

Most heart-rending moment, when a guy in a (quite successful) Capt. Jack Sparrow costume rolls up to the bar well after 02:00. Hard close, no more booze @ all. And I have to indeed tell him "Sorry Captain. The rum's gone." You know what his reply was. ;-) I even rolled up my sleeve & showed him my Jolly Roger tattoo. "Pirate to pirate, Cap. If I even had a bottle somewhere around I could probably pull a brother a shot of rum, but they've taken away the bottles."

Halloween is absolutely Pirate's favorite holiday. He had a surprisingly good time last weekend at the family-friendly party, and the the main night's gig rocked hard and tipped great.

And for the record, any Sarah Palin costumes have to be lat least as hot as my kid sister.


And now, in honor of the holiday, the world's youngest Misfit's fan singing Skulls



Previously in O,DIKTO?:

-Pirate's bartending links

-Bartender of Fortune: Abusing colleagues @ work

-Last Halloween @ Baggy's

-MASSIVELY! FUCKING! WINTACULAR! SATYR! COSTUME!

-How I alienated girls and gained tinnitus in the 80s

-GREATEST! PUMPKIN! CARVING! EVAR!!!!11!!(ONE)

---

* The martini, you letch! You have such a filthy mind. I continue to love that about you.

Last night was all about torturing our cow-orker Bruce. Especialy as he was managing the gig. Open bar in a high-end mall, free swag-bag and nibbles from lots of local restaurants, plus all the free Sobieski rye vodka and Saké2me and beer you can (in my professional judgment) handle. Fun night.

Thing is, Bruce was shaving his head earlier that day when his young daughter surprised him in the bathroom with Papi!, and Bruce shows up to work with an inch-long razor cut behind his right ear.

And of course, the first thing Scott does before we start unloading the van is poke it and say "Does that still hurt?"

*OW, FUCK!* ;-)

And it all goes downhill from there. Because I just couldn't resist, and about halfway through the gig, when there wasn't any traffic at the bar, I took just the teeniest, tiniest dab of vodka on my finger...

*OW,.....* He didn't cuss on the floor, but he did grab a bottle of water an a napkin and try to wash it off. Didn't seem to do much good. Luckily, the next 3 customers all wanted beers, which I could crack open while trying not to explode with laughter.

"Do you have ANY idea how much pain I'm in right now? What was that, a lime?"

Dude, would I zap a cow-orker with a small cut on his head using a lime? I went for the vodka to help sterilize it.

About an hour later, it was Dave that used the lime.

Yes, we all understand that what goes around, comes around. ;-)

On the food side, the folx over that the Live Sushi Bar were well impressed with Pirate's mixology. They brought the owner over to try one of Pirate's "Something Fruities".* On top of that, they tossed a monkey a couple of cards for a free "Crazy Monkey Roll". Unagi, Hamachi, avocado... oh yeah, you know exactly where Team LexiMonkey are going to go spend last nights tips tonight!

---

* Actually, the Something Fruitie's were a hit all over the floor. Had people coming up asking for it because their friend said it was great. And because vodka/cranberry is so basic and unchallenging.

Previously in O,DIKTO?:

Pirate's bartending links

Pirate's Sunday?

Brunch at Brenda's French Soul Food with lexica510.

Lingerie shopping w/ Lexi.

Afternoon tea-&-dim-sum in the park with Lexi.

Dinner, Humbolt Fog goat brie & Arizmendi baguette with Lexi.

Lexi for dessert.

That is all.


Previously in O,DIKTO?:

-I'm Just Sayin'...

The trolley was moving when I took this one, so that may account for it being slightly fuzzy.

And believe me, bartending on a faux cable-car takes balance, timing, and solid obliques so as not to spill the cocktail or beer you're pouring while going through the turns. Especially if you're dancing for the ladies at the same time.

MOST especially when they dance back. ;-)


Previously in O,DIKTO?:

-Bartender of Fortune: DAMN, that was a long 3 days. [EDITED]

-
Workout Diary: Beer, Hot Dogs, and Energy Drinks As Exercise

-How do catering bartenders fist bump?

-Stack-o-wineglasses

-Bartender of Fortune: ATOC-08

-It was right before my eyes, and I didn't even see it

-The Monkey's bells got seriously rocked

-Bartender of Fortune: Dancing the Night Away

Your bartender of fortune spent the entire Outside Lands '08* festival in the beer & wine tent across from The Avenues stage out on the Polo Field. 11 hour days of standing in the same place, opening endless bottles of chardonnay and cabernet suvignon.

They ran out of kegs at the Speedway stage, and I hear the bartenders got pelted with empty cups by irate customers. Get over it you self-centered, overly-entitled whiners. Go listen to some music.

Highlights:

• Rodrigo y Gabriella playing flamenco Metallica. What's Spanish for "FUCK YEAH"? \m/ o_o \m/
  
• Sharon Jones & the Dap Kings. SO! MUCH! MOTHER! LOVIN'! BADASSERY!
  
• Los Amigos Invisibles playing at the stage directly across from my station. We were dead then (everyone was elsewhere seeing Wilco & Widespread Panic & the bands at THOSE stages) and my bar was the dancing-on-duty bar. ;-)
  
• Still don't understand the fuss over Radiohead.
  
• The Coup from Oaktown. 5-1-0, baby!
  
• I should have taken a cab with Liz Saturday night. Because me an a squillion other people had the same idea: I'll hop on the N-Judah, it'll take me right to BART. Two words: SARDINE PARTY! You would not BELIEVE the contortions I went through to stand so as not to look like I was rubbing up against this dude's girl in front of him as the cars moved. Sunday night they had MANY more MUNI cars running.
  
• Drive-By Truckers were playing one of the outer stages and I totally missed them. *SAD MONKEY*
• Jack Johnson closing Sunday Night was a good choice. Like an acoustic lullaby for grownups.
  
• [EDIT] Sambazon Açai-berry juice + glitter = BOO-YAA! Lemme 'splain. As we were breaking down Sunday night, the two hotties in the black & purple hot-pants and chaps and boots sauntered up to our station looking for the ID check guy. They'd promised him one of the purple bottles they were handing out, but he'd closed up shop and left even earlier. His loss, my gain. Because not only the monkey get the açai-berry thingy, he got an awesome sholder- rub that evolved into a group-hug that turned into "Let's give him some glitter!" Of course, the only glitter they had was on their cheeks. But I'm telling you... I got about as much glitter as a married man w/out a signed field-trip permission-slip could get. That was the BEST tip I got all weekend. The view at their chaps as they walked away... second best tip. ;-) So when you think açai-berry juice... think SAMBAZON.**
• I'm perfectly willing to work these events, but I couldn't really see ponying up the kind of $$ they want for the privilege of buying all the food and beer they won't let you bring in.
  
  I lived on hot dogs and hamburgers from the grill next door, and we all ended up smelling like grilled meat and lighter fluid from being down wind. I slept most all of Monday and just lifted a kettlebell for the first time since last Thursday.
  
  Did I miss anything here in LJ-land?
  
  
  Previously in O,DIKTO?
  -
  Workout Diary: Beer, Hot Dogs, and Energy Drinks As Exercise
  
  -Tipping: Not Just A City In China
  
  -Mehraneh Atashi In The House of Power
  
  -How do catering bartenders fist bump?
  
  -Stack-o-wineglasses
  
  -15 Seconds with Pirate: New Years Eve on the Trolley
  
  -Bartender of Fortune: ATOC-08
  
  -It was right before my eyes, and I didn't even see it
  
  -The Monkey's bells got seriously rocked
  
  -Bartender of Fortune: Dancing the Night Away

  ---

  * This assumes there will be an '09. I know there's a lot of resistance to this sort of huge festival in the park.
  
  **Yes, that's gratuitous advertising. But that was a damn fine shoulder rub.