The Dark of Winter: A Cycle of Short Stories

  • Dec. 4th, 2009 at 11:06 PM
Master of the Hunt
This is a series of linked short stories dealing with monsters, magic, and murder; ancient gods, grievous histories, and powerful destinies; and with an unknown side to that mysterious figure known to some as Father Christmas (a.k.a. Santa Claus) and his dark shadow, Krampus.

These stories (as a whole cycle) involve strong language, violence, sexuality, and fairy-tale subjects on the darker side of the "Bruno Bettelheim" scale, the ones where bad & lazy servants gets tarred and feathered, and the wicked are forced to dance themselves to death wearing red-hot iron shoes.

Disney has left been driven from the building.

This page will serve as a central list for links to the the collected stories as I finish them and their links go live. Not sure how many it's going to take, but I know how it ends for sure. And as with any journey, getting there is most of the fun. Hope you'll take this one with me.

Share and enjoy!

5/26/09
Okay, this project is mutating blossoming above and beyond any earlier conception I'd had for it. A short story became short stories.

Now other characters and other stories are angling for keyboard-time from the monkey and my multiple-short-stories has become one of several in some monstrous Christmas-themed prose literary version of a Wagnerian opera cycle which I have titled The Dark of Winter.

Sweet Elvis in his black '68 Comeback Special leathers, what am I setting myself up for?


The Long Yuletide War
By "Pirate"

  • Part 1: Whip of the Red Hunter
  • Part 2: NEWSFLASH: Dec. 12, 200-
  • Part 3: Blood of the Seið Woman
  • Part 4: Song of the Murderous Saint
  • Part 5: Call of the Forgotten Hunt
  • Part 6: Guns of the Papal Envoy
  • Part 7:
  • Part 8:

    Creative Commons License
    This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-Share Alike 3.0 Unported License.
  • The Long Yuletide War: A short-story cycle

    Three Words: Monkey Poo Dodgeball

    • Jul. 6th, 2009 at 2:38 PM
    Smoking Monkey
    For the kids, you see. Because nothing says "Children's Party" more than shit-flinging monkeys.

    I wonder if there's a deluxe version where the monkeys fling back?
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    The Long Yuletide War: A short-story cycle

    Humans
    Arthritis is one of those non-diagnosis diagnoses. It just means "you have pain in your joints".* It's like "tendinitis" or "sciatica", it's a description of symptoms, not an explanation for them.

    Patient: "Doctor, I have this terrible pain in my head"

    Doctor: "Well, you have what is medically known as a headache"

    Patient: "Doctor, I have this terrible pain in my joints"...

    Arthritis is not inevitable, it's not about getting older, and it's not irreversible. It's about movement starvation and misaligned musculo-skeletal system.

    If you have knee pain (and I know of at least 3 people on my f-list who mention it), I BEG OF YOU before you do anything as drastic as go under the knife with something as essential as your knees, read Pete Egoscue's Pain Free. Read this interview with Pete. Watch this brief video (with diagrams) further explaining how & why proper joint alignment IS ESSENTIAL, and why misalignment is the cause of much of the pain modern people live with.

    I have one buddy who recently chose the knife for his knees rather than look into Egoscue, and I wish him the best. But before anyone else chooses to get their knees cut because they're in pain...

    My knees used to be for crap. I've had ankle problems, back problems, and was generally softer and weaker than a self-respecting guy my size should have been since college.

    I turned 40 this year. At 35 I was weak, overweight, and soft. I now do snatch/get-ups with a 20kg kettlebell in sets of 10. I climb trees. I walk everywhere, and feel my ass-muscles involved in the walking (In addition to sitting at a desk, it's riding in your car that's slowly killing you). I am literally in the best shape of my life due to physical activity (Particularly Egoscue & kettlebells) and I started 2 years ago.

    To be human is to move, because plants don't need brains. Movement heals and feels awesome, sedentary lifestyle causes pain and kills. It's as simple at that.

    From "You Can Live Free Of Pain":
    It’s widely believed that knee cartilage doesn’t heal itself. A “when it’s gone it’s gone” type of mentality. However, Egoscue believes differently. We believe that the body has an amazing ability to heal itself... We believe that cartilage has the same healing ability and stimulus-response characteristic that the rest of the body has....

    I was ecstatic to read this article. It might just be the start of proving what Pete Egoscue has said forever: The knee, its makeup, and its design are no different than the rest of the body. It’s not poorly designed, it just gets into the wrong position, and a compromised knee position is most likely a painful knee position. If you get the knee in the right position the pain will be eliminated and the knee can start its healing process. Keep moving and stay healthy!
    ---
    Exercise May Improve Cartilage in Arthritic Knees
    The changes imply that human cartilage responds to physiologic loading in a way similar to that exhibited by muscle and bone, and that previously established positive symptomatic effects of exercise in patients with OA may occur in parallel or even be caused by improved cartilage properties.’Moderate exercise may improve the physical composition of joint cartilage in patients with knee osteoarthritis (OA), according to a study published in Arthritis & Rheumatism [emph mine].
    EDIT: Via [info]samajh, "Arthroscopic Knee Surgery No Better Than Placebo Surgery:
    July 11, 2002 — Arthroscopic knee lavage or debridement was no better than placebo surgery in a randomized controlled trial described in the July 11 issue of the New England Journal of Medicine.

    "The fact that the effectiveness of arthroscopic lavage or debridement in patients with osteoarthritis of the knee is no greater than that of placebo surgery makes us question whether the dollars spent on these procedures might not be put to better use," senior author Nelda P. Wray, MD, MPH, from Baylor College of Medicine in Houston, Texas, says in a news release. [you can bypass registering to login by using http://bugmenot.com]

    -Previously in O,DIKTO?:

    -Kaiser Auditorium: The Joy of Effort

    -Mah sweetie's GUNZ, courtesy of Pete Egoscue

    -The Male Physique: Options
    * Rheumatoid arthritis is an auto-immune disease of a different stripe. But most people with "arthritis" don't suffer from that. They just suffer. And IMO, needlessly.
    The Long Yuletide War: A short-story cycle

    Myspace: The Ghetto of the Internet?

    • Jul. 5th, 2009 at 1:23 PM
    Sophisticated Monkey
    Via [info]twistedcat

    And by the way... Peet's is more cultured than $tarbucks, and Jazz is more cultured than bubblegum pop. That's neither good nor bad, but it is a fact.

    Of course, I and the swell-set long-winded/thoughts-&-ideas-oriented look down from our Olympian Livejournalian heights on both the book-facers and the space-havers as equally plebian entitled to their choices (though some people I know both have an LJ and go slumming maintain one of the others).
    clipped from www.inquisitr.com

    At a keynote speech during New York's Democracy forum at Lincoln Center, Danah Boyd spoke of the racial disparity and possible reasons for mass abandonment of MySpace for the "more cultured" and "less cheesy" social networking site Facebook. Boyd, a social media researcher for Microsoft and fellow of the Harvard University Berkman Center for Internet and Society, stated:

    "We might as well face an uncomfortable reality - what happened was modern day 'white flight'."

    "The fact that digital migration is revealing the same social patterns as urban white flight should send warning signals to all of us. It should scare the hell out of us."

    Boyd also said that teens who use Facebook are more likely to condescend their MySpace-favoring peers.

    "Any high school student who has a Facebook page will tell you MySpace users are more likely to be barely educated and obnoxious - like Peet's is more cultured than Starbucks and jazz is more cultured than bubblegum pop. And Macs are more cultured than PCs."

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    Previosuly in O,DIKTO?:

    -Quitting Facebook

    -Class In America (both online & off)

    -"What are you?

    -I, Cracker
    The Long Yuletide War: A short-story cycle

    Have you read "Kip, Running" yet?

    • Jul. 3rd, 2009 at 9:13 PM
    Jack Hawksmoor
    "The runners are lithe and young. None are older than sixteen. Nothing about their hair or clothing dangles in excess, though they ornament themselves in other ways: hair cut in patterns like ornamental lawns, tint cascading through the patterns like advertising. Tattoos adorn them like jewelry or ripple across their bodies like silk scarves, wet and shining in the omnipresent April rain."
    Srsly, if you haven't yet, you should read Kip, Running.

    Previously in O,DIOKTO?:

    -100% French Monkey-Powered AWESOMENESS

    -Etre fort pour être utile

    -CITY! MONKEY! WANT!

    -Traceuse chicks are HAWT!
    The Long Yuletide War: A short-story cycle

    Couch Snoozy Monkey

    • Jul. 2nd, 2009 at 12:04 PM
    American Badass: Robert Mitchum

    Couch Snoozy Monkey
    Originally uploaded by Spiritualmonkey.
    Happy HNT everyone!
    HNTbutton
    Previously in O,DIKTO?:

    -The monkey's Half-Nekkid Thursday archive

    -The Male Physique: Options
    The Long Yuletide War: A short-story cycle

    Martina Navratilova Sabotages Gay Marriage

    • Jun. 29th, 2009 at 7:30 AM
    Cranky Monkey
    I bartended at then NCLR 30th anniversary where Navratilova was the GoH.

    Lexica & I just celebrated out 11th wedding anniversary. We've attended gay marriage rallies and wholly support the idea of marriage. I wear a white knot on my backpack. This shit is hard work, and I support those who sign up "For better or worse".

    But Navratalova's cynical towards marriage and commitment is ashes is my mouth.

    Her attitude and actions would be just as reprehensible if she were het. It's just that people are working for basic civil rights, and Martina is taking advantage of being rich to fuck off on her "we will build a life together" commitments.

    That's despicable.
    clipped from www.salon.com

    June 29, 2009 | A famous multimillionaire athlete falls in love. He invites his new girlfriend to live and travel with him; he registers hundreds of thousands of dollars worth of property and assets in her name; he lavishes her with gifts, assures her of his undying love and even goes so far as to marry her in a private ceremony. Eight years later, the athlete has cast his wife out of his life, denied her every financial claim and left her with little more than the clothes on her back.

    Here's a question. Would any court in the land deny this wife restitution? And in the court of public opinion, would anyone take the side of a husband so stingy and unfeeling?

    Let us now switch the husband's gender. He is now a she: a lesbian tennis star willing to use the legal system to extract herself from another unhappy relationship.
    If this were a no-fault heterosexual divorce, the law would unequivocally side with Layton, awarding her alimony and some division of property.
    Martina Navratilova
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    The Long Yuletide War: A short-story cycle

    Jane you ignorant slut!
    If I still had a TV, this series of ad bumps for the newly-renamed SyFy Channel would make me not want to EVER turn to that channel again.

    Whoever dreamed this up... you suck. You may not want to be associated with sci-fi geeks, and think that's an embarrassing demographic.

    But who the fuck are you trying to appeal to now? Your channel should die for rampant corporate assholery.

    Note: [I]n Polish, "syfy" has a meaning somewhere between zits, filthy and scum... also slang for a venerial disease i belive.

    Via [info]greygirlbeast
    The Long Yuletide War: A short-story cycle

    I'm Just Sayin'...

    • Jun. 26th, 2009 at 7:10 AM
    Red Dragon
    Michael Jackson never had a snowball's chance in Hell of living a normal life

    And, like most of us, he didn't beat the odds.

    Though he did give us Thriller

    Rest in peace.

    That is all.
    The Long Yuletide War: A short-story cycle

    Oakland: We have a giant holographic Jesus

    • Jun. 23rd, 2009 at 10:55 AM
    Believe in the power of  The Big G!
    Not Catholic (mom's family is), but I am (510).

    And as a resident of this city, from the outside the Cathedral of Christ the Light looks like the worlds biggest industrial vagina made of glass & steel.
    484px-oak_cathdrl_interior
    A monument to 21st century civilization, millenial optimism, and petit-bourgeois good taste it may be, but a church it is not.
    Apparently, the price tag of our new communal "worship space" was about 190 million dollars, a lot of which was spent for earthquake-proofing the building
    Does it look like money well spent? No. Why does every modern structure have to resemble a shopping mall.
    This could be the Social Security administration office, the DMV, or just some conference center that we come to for a human resources meeting
    "Why, it's hologram Jesus! I have heard so much about you. So, my friend told me that you would look so... shiny?"
    See, it was stone in the original, and now they have taken thousands of mirrors and other do-hickeys and made a Jesus made entirely out of light. Pretty freakin' clever, huh? Ya get it? Who could not like a hundred foot Jesus made out of the rays of the sun? And it's a traditional image to boot, so we can all feel good about it.

    I didn't.

    http://www.robinsondesign.co.uk/blog/wp-content/uploads/2008/10/cathedral-lead.jpg
    http://www.hawaiicatholicherald.com/Portals/9/2008/2008-02-jan25/night.jpg
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    The Long Yuletide War: A short-story cycle

    Samichlaus Bier
    Ever wonder who gets credit for the "Strongest Beer in the World?:
    December 6 is the Feast day of St. Nicholas, one of several Patron Saints of Brewing...

    Inspired by this feast day, is Samichlaus Bier. Samichlaus is an 14% ABV doppelbock that at one time was billed as the world's strongest beer. The name means "Santa Claus" in the Swiss-German dialect of Zürich. Brewed only on December 6 of each year, the beer is aged for almost a year and released in time for the following year's feast day. Samichlaus was originally brewed by Brauerei Hürlimann, and later by Feldschlösschen Brewery. It is currently produced by Schloss Eggenberg of Switzerland.


    Previously in O,DIKTO?:

    -Team Wonderbike: Have you taken the pledge?
    The Long Yuletide War: A short-story cycle

    Shuffling the order once again.

    • Jun. 19th, 2009 at 2:47 PM
    Facepalm
    I mentioned earlier the problem of side characters leaping up and saying "Me, WRITE MORE ABOUT ME! NOW!!!"

    I had expected this to come later in the sequence. But it's just about done, and it actually fits, stoywise up next.

    SO...

    Up next, The Long Yuletide War, Part 4: "Song of the Murderous Saint"
    The Long Yuletide War: A short-story cycle

    32 Down on the Robert McKenzie

    • Jun. 19th, 2009 at 9:53 AM
    American Badass: Henry Rollins
    For the due South episode "Mountie on the Bounty", Paul Gross had wanted to use the Gordon Lightfoot song "The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald" as the seed of a storyline about bad guys using the memory of the sinking for nefarious purposes.

    Gordon Lightfoot gave the go-ahead, as long as the family members of the 29 crew who died aboard her also agreed.

    Rather than put the families through any additional pain (and risk doing a disservice to the memory of the sinking), Gross wrote this song about a fictional event for the show. You can hear echoes of Lightfoot's melody in the tin whistle, an homage I suspect.

    The song, and the dS episode which involves RMCP trainees on a tall ship setting fighting sail, running out the guns, & mounting a boarding action, FUCKING 0WNZ!

    Series trivia: Diefenbaker, Constable Fraser's deaf* half-wolf companion, was the first series character to receive any fan-mail.
    clipped from www.youtube.com
    The Song 32 down on the Robert Mackenzie from the Due south episode Mountie on the Bountie.
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    *Dief lost his hearing pulling Fraser out of Prince Rupert Sound. Dief can, however, read lips in both English and Inuktitut.

    Previously in O,DIKTO?:

    -Buccaneering in the land of round bacon
    The Long Yuletide War: A short-story cycle

    Buccanneering in the land of round bacon

    • Jun. 18th, 2009 at 10:08 AM
    APLFM!: Yellowbeard
    And it's a heave-ho, hi-ho, comin' down the plains
    Stealin' wheat and barley and all the other grains
    It's a ho-hey, hi-hey farmers bar yer doors
    When ya see the Jolly Roger on Regina's mighty shores

    -Arrogant Worms, "Last Saskatchewan Pirate"



    Previously in O,DITKO?:

    -Pirates

    -Western Canada Feels Wrath of the Tentacles

    -Canada militarizes the arctic, threatens violent retaliation in the face of US, Viking pressure

    -Canada Refuses to Be America's Bitch, Tells U.S. Ambassador (Politely) to Get Stuffed
    The Long Yuletide War: A short-story cycle

    Stunned monkey
    With purple clouds & DNA rainbow.
    clipped from www.telegraph.co.uk
    Patrick Swayze centaur tattoo


    It's a centaur tattoo. No, wait, it's a Patrick Swayze centaur tattoo.
    No, we've got it: it's a Patrick Swayze centaur Chippendale tattoo

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    The Long Yuletide War: A short-story cycle

    Larry Kramer on Gay Sex in Colonial America

    • Jun. 17th, 2009 at 10:12 AM
    Facepalm
    In this new book,
    The Overflowing Friendship: Love Between Men and the Creation of the American Republic
    Godbeer is hell-bent on convincing us that two men in colonial America could have exceedingly obsessive and passionate relationships (he calls them, variously, "sentimental," "loving," "romantic") replete with non-stop effusive correspondence that rivals anything in Barbara Cartland, and spend many a night in bed together talking their hearts out, without the issue of sex arising in any way. He tries very hard to convince us that then was so different from now, that men, in essence, in all of this behavior, had no sex drives, indeed no functioning penises that perked up when the luscious emotions and activities he is describing completely dominated the lives he is detailing. Oh, no, insists Godbeer. Most of these friendships were not in the least sexual. You know, a sort of I Love You, Man for colonial America.
    This historian is in such denial that he needs therapy
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    The Long Yuletide War: A short-story cycle

    Iran Documentaries

    • Jun. 16th, 2009 at 10:21 PM
    Cthulhu 2: Oh, Rl'Yeh?
    Iran, it's latest election, and the protests that have followed are all very much in the news of late. I thought this might be a decent time to share a few videos on Iran.

    We in the U.S. have a long a tangled history with Iran that most of us (I don't think) have a solid grip on. We remember the hostages and the embassy being stormed. But we don't remember the CIA coup that overthrew the democratically elected government and re-installed the despotic Shah to the Peacock Throne back in 1953.

    Did you know that people in Tehran also marched in the streets after 9/11 chanting "Death to terrorists"?

    I think these vids offer buckets of valuable context to Americans, given the contentious political relations we've had with Iran recently.

  • Frontline: Showdown With Iran. A look at some of the political and strategic issues involving Iran & the the US, including Afghanistan, Iraq, Israel, & nuclear weapons.


  • Rick Steve's Iran. Known mostly for his European travel books & shows, Rick got access to film in Iran because of his reputation for making films for PBS, and because he was coming to examine the cultural side of Iran, not the political.

    He discusses the political where it intersects with daily life, but it's the daily life that he's most interested in. Sweet Elvis, but that's a gorgeous country. The mountains look stunning.


  • Rick Steves discussing making his Iran documentary at the Commonwealth Club (make with the clickety-click for the full video).
  • The Long Yuletide War: A short-story cycle

    The Long Yuletide War: A short-story cycle

    APLFM!: Yellowbeard
    Ross Kemp is an English actor from London known for playing hard guys. He's also made several seasons of his now famous series Ross Kemp On Gangs. He's met with South African prison gangs, New Zealand gangs, Orange County Skinheads, St. Louis gangbangers, Moscow neo-nazis, Polish football hooligans/neo-nazis, the infamous MS-13, and more.

    He's also gone to Afghanistan (twice) with the British Army regiment his father belonged to (or would have belonged to after they merged).

    Who's the well-spoken skinhead going after now? Pirates!



    Also, massive points for going on a show like Extras and being willing to have a bit of fun with is own image.



    Previously in O,DIKTO?:

    -The Media is lying to you about Somali pirates

    -No Heroics

    -Manliness: Neither a science nor a given, but an art

    -As our military crumbles, our street gangs gain tactical expertise

    -It's like they're hippies, but they're also clowns and you're on mushrooms
    The Long Yuletide War: A short-story cycle

    Facepalm
    clipped from thinkprogress.org

    Over the weekend, a GOP official in South Carolina posted a comment to Facebook comparing Michelle Obama to an escaped gorilla. Now, in a second instance of Republicans playing the race card against the Obamas, Wonkette notes that a racist e-mail was sent out by a legislative staffer for Tennessee GOP state senator Diane Black. The staffer, Sherri Goforth, e-mailed this composite picture of the country's 44 presidents, which represents President Obama with only a set of eyes:

    44presidents1

    When I asked her if she understood the controversial nature of the photo, Goforth would only say she felt very bad about accidentally sending it to the wrong list. When I gave her a second chance to address the controversial nature of the email, she again repeated that she only felt bad about sending it to the wrong list of people.

    "I went on the wrong email and I inadvertently hit the wrong button," Goforth told NIT. "I'm very sick about it, and it's one of those things I can't change or take back."

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    The Long Yuletide War: A short-story cycle

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